Good relationships don’t just happen. If we don’t service and maintain our car, it will break down, use more fuel, and the motor may blow up. Relationships are no different; we need to nurture, invest in, and maintain them.
We all have 24 hours in a day, and we have a choice to deposit either negatively or positively into the emotional bank account of our partner. Take every small moment to communicate love, appreciation, support, praise, and desire. The payoff for these small acts will be healthier, happier relationship with less conflict.
Focus on communication such as:
You look beautiful or handsome
I love you
Thank you for…
What do you need?
How can I help?
Help me understand?
You are great at…
Touch, kiss, and give hugs
According to relationship researcher John Gottman, the magic ratio is 5 to 1. What does this mean? This means that for every one negative feeling or interaction between partners, there must be five positive feelings or interactions. Stable and happy couples share more positive feelings and actions than negative ones. Try to do this today:
Focus on your partner’s best qualities. Take a few moments to write a list of your partner’s qualities. Select 2-3 and think of an actual instance that illustrates each of these characteristics of your partner. Then share with your partner the characteristics and the story. Try and remember to refer to the list and share with your partner often.
Here is a list of ideas to spark this couple’s activity.
Think about how your partner's great qualities enrich your life and how much you would miss them if not around.
When you change your focus, you change your feelings. And when you change your feelings, you change your perspective, your approach, and reactions.
Verbalise your affirmations, appreciation, and show affection. If you have children, they learn how to build a great relationship or a miserable one by watching you.
Nurture and love your partner. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoice with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Cor 13:6-7
People thrive and grow with praise and encouragement. Are you going to build up or tear down?
Build a relationship that is resilient, fulfilling, and full of joy. Remember, it's the small, consistent efforts that make the biggest and lasting difference.
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